On more than one occasion I’ve been known to advance the observation that picking on Liberals can be like shooting the proverbial fish in a barrel … with a bazooka. Here, for example, are but a handful of our liberal brethren’s beliefs de jour.

The desecration of Christian imagery … say submerging a crucifix in urine or smearing images of the Madonna with feces … is "art" so profound it justifies public subsidy via the National Endowment for the Humanities … and … the laughable allegation that an individual drawing a government paycheck may have “abused” the Koran at Gitmo, (by finding a way to flush a large book down a toilet), constitute an grave indictment of the American character.

Flaming skyscrapers aside Islam is a religion of peace … and … despite more than 40 years of peaceful protest against the murder of the unborn fundamentalist Christians are hatefully intolerant.

Israeli Jews who build a wall to stop the indiscriminate murder of their children are aggressively immoral … and … Muslims who use their children as time bombs are simply misunderstood freedom fighters.

The constitutional rights of Americans are under assault because foreigners conforming to the profile of the average modern terrorist (young, male, agitated and Muslim), traveling on passports issued by countries that espouse a hatred of the United States are searched before they are allowed to embark on airplanes destined for American territory … and … searching eighty five year old grandmothers on their way to Disney Land proves our moral superiority.

Michael Moore takes reasoned political positions … and … George Bush is a pathological liar.

Mink and other fur bearing animals have a right to life … and … unborn humans do not.

The UN, an organization in which Libya can head the Committee on Human Rights, and in which every petty dictatorship and authoritarian regime has both a bully pulpit and a vote, is our best guarantor of liberty.

We can safely ignore the fact that democracy and capitalism are the two surest creators of wealth and fix the healthcare system via socialism.

The fact that the mainstream press tried to determine the outcome of the last the Presidential election with what they manifestly knew to be forged documents proves absolutely nothing … and … the mere existence of the Fox News Channel is clear evidence of a vast right-wing media conspiracy.

Halliburton is an evil cabal … and … the UN Security Council is the last best hope of mankind.

The French are our allies.

Decency requires that the 10 commandments not appear in any public building … and … attempts to curb the worst excesses of a vaguely pornographic radio show constitute intolerable censorship.

There are (mysteriously unwritten) Constitutional rights to gay marriage and abortion … and … there is no right to own a gun despite the fact that such a right actually appears within the text of the Constitution.

We must, at all costs, protect the rights of women to kill their unborn children on virtually any pretext … and … the legal execution of a convicted mass murderer constitutes an act of state terrorism.

Bill Clinton was a principled humanitarian when he launched an invasion of without so much as a casual nod to the UN … and … George Bush approaches the status of war criminal for approving an invasion of without the explicit endorsement of the UN Security Council.

Taxing the rich will cause the poor to become rich because you can create jobs by increasing the amount of income tax (& thereby decreasing the wealth) of the people whose wealth creates jobs.

Allowing people a say in how their own money will be allocated when planning for their own retirement income constitutes a government power grab.

Demanding preferential treatment of some races over others in employment and the distribution of tax revenues in no way constitutes racism … and … Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton are the best Black American has to offer.

Despite 1000 plus years of common law theory ... and a lifetime of hard work ... your property is not actually not yours if any other person of higher socio-economic status can convince the local authorities they can use it to provide the government with more tax revenue than you can.

The treatment of terrorists detained at Gitmo and in is a national disgrace … and the Democratic Party isn’t.

There now … aren’t you glad you’re a conservative?